The days are growing longer and the weather is slowly growing warmer. We’re well into the year now as March is just rushing by and I can’t help but look around and wonder where I’m headed. I’m as guilty as the next person for rushing ahead and always thinking about the next step. On Tuesday I am already planning my weekend and by Friday I’m thinking of Sunday night. Yet this evening the thought that I will never be in this moment again popped into my mind and I forced myself to recognize the moment and savor it for all its worth.
That moment I wanted to savor is my life right now, as is, unfinished roads and all. As a non-married lady living with her boyfriend, I get the requisite “When are you getting engaged/married?” questions often enough. Tonight I thought about how I do want to get to that next “milestone” in life yet there’s something about being here right now. Cozy in our first place together, the tiny cramped kitchen that doesn’t vent the smoke from the stove top, I am secure in the knowledge that I am loved and there is very little I want more than that and to work hard at my job. Our place isn’t perfect and I must admit it probably isn’t the tidiest. But it’s our first and you never get to experience the first again.
Even as I want to rush ahead and make this crazy guy mine for life, there is something so sweet to me about this moment. I cook him dinner and we eat together and share our day. No children to divide our attention, no big bills to worry us, just us two in our place getting to know one another even better. As I stood in my tiny kitchen the feeling felt so sweet and light and happy I just wanted to breathe it in.
That rush, rush, find out what’s next feeling may never leave but I’m thankful for those moments when I remember to slow it down. Because when I stop, look, and realize how very perfect this time is, I feel whole.