Funny Seeing You Here Again

I never intended to make posting on Sunday a “thing” but it seems that Sunday posting may be a new thing for 2014. Something about posting on Sunday seems more “real”. Seriously serious on Sundays, that’s me. But in all seriousness, I’m finding that Sunday is a good day to unload here on the blog. If you’re here looking for some cute outfits, check back later this week.

I’m kind of glad this is the last week in January. January has felt raw in many ways: the weather, emotions, experiences. That sounds kind of intense but when I think about this month, raw seems to be the only word that fits. With the roller coaster ride this month has been, I’m wondering what the rest of the year has in store.

To be honest it’s been more of a self-manufactured roller coaster ride. I absolutely love my job but this month has been a crazy stressful one. I’ve found myself near tears at my desk at the end of the day more than once. But it’s not like I’ve been getting bad feedback or am in jeopardy of losing my job. The thing is that, after a particularly rough day, I convince myself that my job is on the line. Keeping it cool and calm has never been my strong suit but this first year of teaching is really testing my nerves. January turned into a crazy month of testing for my students which meant they were less than enthused. When kids aren’t engaged by learning, they tend to act out. But who’s to blame them? If I came into work every day and found that there was another test, I’d probably throw a few hissy fits. Yet I feel their bad behavior reflects poorly on me and I find myself using harsher words than I intend and worrying that someone will be whispering about my capabilities behind my back. Reflecting on this, I want the new month to be a fresh start of happiness and confidence in my job.

January has felt like a big change which is new and exciting but a little stressful for this girl who likes to be prepared. Usually January feels like more of the same from the previous year but, again, this month was raw and different. Along with my moments of self-doubt, I’ve experienced some great moments in becoming closer to loved ones in my life but struggled with them too. My thoughts on the future have developed a little differently but positively so. I’m working hard on being my one word for the year.

I’m happy that January has been this crazy ride but I’m also excited for it to be over with a fresh month ahead. Anybody else have a weird first month of 2014?

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