This is the first day of what I’d like to call “the big wide open.” What’s that exactly? It’s the fact that right now I am sitting at home, at my computer, with no job and trying to figure out how to calibrate my time. Over a week ago, I finished the graduate work that allows me to become a certified teacher. It was a long journey, though it was really only a year and a half of school, and now it’s all done. This big, wide open thing is the fact that my life is pretty open to possibility right now and I’m okay with that.
Of course my big, wide open isn’t as open as I like to think of it. I’ve made it my goal to apply to at least one teaching job every other day. I’m looking for a part-time gig for the summer to keep me moving while also giving myself an opportunity to slow down and be sane for a moment. Sanity and calm wasn’t always a top priority when I was student teaching so I’m happy to have it back. I want to do more for myself this summer (more of that to come later this week). I want to soak up the fact that I am one giant step away from making my dream of becoming the best elementary teacher of all time come true.
So even though I sit here at my computer, basically in the same spot as I was just three years ago when I graduated from college, I feel a heck of a lot better. Where my job search last time was panicked and upsetting at times, I feel an inner calm and strength this time. Life may be wide open right now but I am confident that it will all work out right in the end. These three years have given me the confidence that there is a plan for me, even if I don’t know it, and I just have to work hard and have faith that I will end up where I’m supposed to. Just embrace the openness and it will all end up right in the end.