Despite a brief Indian summer this weekend, cooler temperatures are seeping into the forecast here on the East Coast. We’re pulling out our knits, our boots, our scarves and our hats in anticipation of the long winter ahead. And along with those warm clothes, you may start to think of all those cold weather activities: football games, hayrides, apple picking and hot chocolate in front of the fire. But you might be thinking that those things are really more fun done with someone else. You are right and I’m here to tell you not to worry! Fall is the perfect time to meet someone and fall in love (or at least fall in like if you’re not ready). Summer is for single people with sun-kissed skin flashing and drinks flowing. As fall rolls around, we cover up, get more serious about who we want to spend our time with and that’s when you find your Mr. Right instead of the Mr. Right Nows.
Making the most of the fall means taking several important steps. First you must OPEN YOUR HEART. What does that mean exactly? Let go of who you think you should be and let yourself be. Look past the glitz and glamour of first meetings and see if that person really “speaks” to you. You also have to make yourself vulnerable, to allow someone to see you authentically as you are and, scarily, be open to the possibility of being hurt. Somehow the universe always knows when you’re holding back and holds all the good ones out of reach. I’ve talked previously about opening your heart and how important that is. Do it now!
Once your mind is ready, your body’s got to do a little work. Not that kind of work! You must EXPAND YOUR OPTIONS. Think about your daily life; you probably have the same routine every day. If you’re always doing the same things, seeing the same people, you’ll always just have those same things in your life. Get your coffee at the local shop instead of Starbucks, use the bathroom on a different floor in your office building, visit the gym in the morning instead of at night. Nothing is too much work when you’re looking for love so make those small changes to your routine and try to meet more people. And while you’re at it, stop being afraid of the internet. That piece of advice was one of the great gems I got out of the Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s book (which I highly recommend to anyone looking to make a change in how they think about finding love). The statistic is 1 in 5, or maybe 1 in 4, people meet their significant other on an internet dating site, and why not? Our lives are becoming increasingly internet-centric so expand your options in that arena. It’s like a whole new bar scene without those dim lights and alcohol haze that tends to hide the ills (though tread carefully, the internet is not perfect).
Finally, you must LET THEM KNOW. Remember middle school dances huddled in a group of girls whispering and giggling all while hoping the boy with the shaggy bowl cut asked you to dance? Don’t go there ever again. He’s not going to know you’re single and looking if you’re hanging out with only your friends. Get out and dance, get a drink all by yourself, do something where you might seem open and available for a guy to come and chat with. Smile, flirt and talk. Act interested. They’re not going to know unless you let them know. You should also let your world know you’re looking for the good one. Friends, relatives, co-workers are all very helpful beings and will probably have someone to set you up with. Again, be open to the possibilities. They may not be who you’re looking for or they could be just the one for you.
I am a big believer of finding love in the fall because I did. At the end of this month, it will be two years since the rainy night I opened the door and met the guy who I’d only exchanged witty e-mails with and a few telephone conversations. That was the night I met my other half. So open up and FALL in love.