Want to find a fulfilling and meaningful relationship? A new study just published online in Personality and Individual Differences says that the truer you are to yourself, the better relationships you’ll have. Could this really be the key to having a great relationship? Can we finally eliminate those bad break-ups and late night sessions with girlfriends wondering “why”? Though I’m not sure we can ever avoid bad break-ups or heart to hearts with your girlfriends wondering about guys, we can certainly find a better, more intimate relationship by being true to ourselves.
So, being true to yourself is really the secret to having a great relationship. Then why isn’t everyone doing it? It seems easy to figure out what makes you tick and what’s important to you. But actually it’s a lot harder than it may seem. Being true means eliminating all those voices in your head and the voices all around us that are telling us who to be. You need to be you, the truest form of you.
Be true and get in touch with what you want and need. What makes you tick? Figure out what excites you and makes you smile. That’s who you are. And then don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about your critics; just like Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” And if anyone knows about being true, it’s Eleanor Roosevelt.
After you’ve figured out what you want and what makes you happy, you’re ready to be happy with someone else. If you’re not happy with yourself or your true self, how can you be happy with anyone else? Now that you’ve opened your heart to yourself and accepted your true self, you are ready to open your heart to love. That’s how finding your true self works. You know you want someone to spend time with, who will go to a museum with you and take long walks in national parks, and discover the best dive bars. So would you open your heart up to a guy who’s only interested in hanging out with his friends and taking you out to Applebee’s? He’s not the right guy for you and now you know it.
Beyond any study published in any journal, I know it works. It works because I’ve used it in my own life. I knew where I was willing to compromise but I knew what I wanted too. There are things that I cannot live without, that make me happy and allow me to be truly myself. And now I’m in a wonderful relationship, all because I was true to me. So find yourself, open your heart, and find love. It might not be the easiest but it will work, just wait and see.